Congress tried so hard to give us a new Health Care bill. And though the latest effort to repeal and replace ObamaCare failed, no doubt there will be future efforts. It is such a charged issue, and many people will benefit, while many will suffer the consequences that a new bill would bring. So… as with any new development in medicine that is about to be consumed by the public, I think it only makes sense that this bill have the same type of disclaimers that we are used to seeing:
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION AND USE OF THIS HEALTH CARE BILL
Do not stop using the current Health Care program without talking to a doctor (or a lawyer) who understands all of the small print. Stopping the current Health Care program may increase your risk of being screwed by huge medical bills. (Of course, you may still be screwed by huge medical bills with the current HEALTH CARE program, too).
This new Health Care program can cause all sorts of scary things to you and your family, much like the current Health Care program, especially if you are one of those people who really does not like it. As it turns out, both Health Care programs can be seriously detrimental to your heath if not used properly – and both have been know to lead to frequent confusion and anger.
Don’t sign up for this new HEALTH CARE BILL if you:
- Don’t like change;
- Are allergic to politicians and their plans to change something they haven’t ever liked;
- Plan to move to a new country where health care isn’t so messed up.
Your risk of confusion regarding this new HEALTH CARE BILL may be higher if you:
- Are 75 years old or older;
- Are 50 years or older;
- Are 25 years or older;
- Are a citizen of the United States.
Call your doctor… (or) your lawyer… (or) your priest or minister… (or) your friend who reads a lot… (or) seek immediate medical care if you have any of the following signs or symptoms:
- You suffer from unexpected, severe, or uncontrollable fits of talking to yourself or yelling at the TV when trying to understand if Congress has any clue about what to do about health care;
- You frequently get unusual or unexpected advice about health care or politics from people you can’t stand;
- You are getting more and more headaches and are constantly feeling dizzy or weak, or you have a growing feeling of hopelessness in the knowledge that Congress is definitely going to mess this all up BIG TIME.
Your risk of getting sick is now much higher, because:
- You are so worried and angry about the mess in Washington over health care that you can no longer sleep through the night;
- You take Congress too seriously;
- You have a history of getting sick;
- You just got a bill from your doctor.
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of the CURRENT Health Care program, or the NEXT Health Care program to your local congressional representative…
… and good luck with that.